Sunday, January 13, 2008

The Vegan Diaries, Day 13: Vegan Prayer

I went to church today for the first time in who knows how long. I prayed for the Lord to take away all the food that I couldn't eat, and give it to all the starving kids in third-world countries so they could get all nice and fat.

But I don't think God listened to my prayer. While working at the Obama phone bank today, my volunteer leaders went out and bought several pepperoni pizzas for everyone.

And I couldn't eat any of it.

Why, Lord? Why do you like to torture me so much? Is this payback for cracking on your lousy bread recipe from Ezekiel 4:9? Look, I apologize if you were offended, but honestly, have you tasted that stuff? It's blander than a stack of rice cakes. All I'm asking for is a little flavor, Lord. Is that a sin?

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