The Vegan Diaries, Day 20: Missing Food

Now that I'm back at Vegan Headquarters, I can eat well again and not worry about how other people perceive me. The only problem is, anytime I return from a trip, some of my food mysteriously disappears.

The day before I left, I had bought a giant loaf of Focaccia bread. I had cut off a small sliver to taste it, and it was wonderful. I was thinking happy thoughts about Focaccia all the time in Reno, and couldn't wait to get back to it. When I returned home late last night, I went over to the kitchen counter to make myself a tasty sandwich.

But to my horror, the Focaccia was gone!

I asked my roommates today what happened to the Focaccia, and they said they didn't know... they thought I had taken it with me to Reno. I know for a fact that there was no Focaccia in my bag the entire time, which leads me to suspect that someone isn't fessing up to swiping the Focaccia.

I've got a real Focaccia mystery on my hands here, folks. I checked for evidence in the trash cans, and found no sign of a crumpled bread bag. So the Focaccia consumption had to have occurred off of the local premises. I've ruled out that the two cats in this house had anything to do with it, because the cats don't like bread and they don't have opposable thumbs to haul the bread away. Raccoons, however, are a possibility. Every ten days or so, a pack of raccoons comes around with their creepy little paws and stare at me through the plate glass of the back door. One possibly could have crawled through the cat door and swiped the bread, but that's a stretch. Plus, I've checked the scene of the crime, and found no evidence of little paw prints.

Another possible culprit may have been the minor earthquake that occurred here on Saturday. The force could have been strong enough to throw the Focaccia bread out the window, and birds could have pecked it apart. Or, a giant fissure might have opened up on the kitchen counter, sucking the Focaccia bread into it, and then closed up without a trace.

Looks like I better invest in a padlock to protect all my food. We vegans don't have that much food to eat to begin with, and when someone (or something) takes our food, it's a threat to our survival. Oh, I'll get to the bottom of this Focaccia mystery, and when I do, there will be hell to pay.